burger.wav
"Looks like me and Vincent caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. Whatcha having?"
"Hamburgers."
"Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of hamburgers?"
"Cheese burgers."
"No, no, no. Where'd you get them? MacDonalds, Wendy's, Jack in the Box, where?"
"Err, Big Cahouna Burger."
"Big Cahouna Burger! That's that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers, I ain't never had one myself, how are they?"
"Good."
"You mind if I try one of yours? ... Hmm, this is a tasty burger!"
concentr.wav
"I never..."
[Gun shot]
"Oh, I'm sorry did I break your concentration?"
cool.wav
"Don't you hurt him!"
"Nobody is gonna hurt anybody. We're all gonna be like three little Fonzie's here, and what's Fonzie like? Come on Yelonda (!?!) what's Fonzie like?"
"He's cool."
"Correctomundo! And that's what we're gonna be, we're gonna be cool."
dns.wav
"When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign on the front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?"
"Jimmy, you know I ain't seen no shit"
"Did you notice a sign on the front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?"
"No...I didn't."
"You know why you didn't see that sign?"
"Why?"
"'Cause it ain't there 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my f***ing business, that's why!"
jerkoff.wav
"So you're gonna go out there, you're gonna say "Good night, I've had a very lovely evening.", walk out the door, get in the car, go home, jerk off and that's all you gonna do."
ketchup.wav
"Three tomatoes are walking down the street - popa tomato, mama tomato and baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind and papa tomato gets really angry. He goes back and squishes him and says "Ketchup"."
[Small chuckle]
miracle.wav
"We should be f***ing dead my friend. What happened here was a miracle and I want you to f***ing acknowledge it!"
"Alright, it was a miracle... can we go now?"
robbery.wav
"I love you pumpkin."
"I love you hunny-bunny. Everybody be cool this is a robbery!"
"Any of you f***ing pricks move and I'll execute every motherf***ing last one of ya!"
shotface.wav
"Marvin. What do you make of all this?"
"Man, I don't even have an opinion."
"Well you gotta have an opinion! I mean do you think that God came down from heaven and stopped..."
[Gun shot]
"Wo! What the f***'s happening?"
"Ah, man."
"Shit man!"
"Ah, man I shot Marvin in the face!"
"Why the f*** did you do that?"
"Well I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident."
"Ah, man I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time but this..."
"Chill out man! I told you it was an accident, you probably, you went over a bump or something."
"Hey the car didn't hit no motherf***ing bump."
"Hey look man, I didn't, I didn't mean to shoot the son-of-a-bitch, the gun went off I don't know why."
"Well look at this f***ing mess, man. We're on a city street in broad daylight here!"
"I don't believe it, man."
"Well believe it now motherf***er, we gotta get this car off the road! You know cops tend to notice shit like you're driving a car drenched in f***ing blood!"
silence.wav
[Background music]
"Don't you hate that?"
"Hate what?"
"Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?"
"I dunno that's a good question."
"That's when you you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the f*** up for a minute and comfortably share silence."
"Well I don't think we're quite there yet but don't feel bad we just met each other."
watch.wav
"The way your dad looked at it this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slope's gonna put his greasy yella hands on his boy's birthright, so he hid it, in one place he knew he could hide something - his ass. Five long years he wore this watch, up his ass then he died of dysentery, he give me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years... Now little man I give the watch to you.
wolf.wav
"I'm Winston Wolf. I solve problems."
